Posts Tagged ‘humor’
Rants
13 Things You Need To Know Before Ordering A Drink On An Airplane
OK, I am going to break it down for you. Don’t be an asshole when you fly. Entering an aircraft is no excuse to lose all common sense yet many of you do so. Ordering a drink is a fairly simple process, please don’t make it ...
Rants
If You Have the Nerve to Use These Noxious Items During a Flight, You’re an Asshole.
OK, but seriously…who would think that it is remotely acceptable to use such items inside of an enclosed metal tube with recirculated air?! Nail Polish. For the love of God, do NOT paint your nails during a flight. Everyo...
Rants
Hi, I’m Jane. You Don’t Know Who the Fuck I Am But Give Me Free Tickets. Now.
Shortly after multiple (and ignored) Facebook friend requests from a complete stranger called Jane, I received the following private messages. I have not altered them in any way other than to ”X” out a few identifiers. Oh, ...
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS; Kid Figures Out Lav
BREAKING NEWS!! 7-year old uses lavatory, flushes the toilet, washes hands AND closes the door behind him. 43-year old man after him does none of the above.
Rants
I LIKE MY FUCKING JOB!!
What is so fucking difficult for you to understand? I’m not a dumb-ass. If I hated my job, guess what? I WOULDN’T FUCKING DO IT!! (shit, that’s a lot of “fucks”) Evidently there are a few of you that are unaware of ho...
Rants
Totally Turbulent Times
So just a heads up for you passengers traveling during severe turbulence, please do us all a favor and don’t be a fucking asshole. On my last trip during the beverage service we were hit with some fairly severe turbulence due...
Rants
How Not to be an Asshole When Traveling with Children
After listening to one of my favorite podcasts For Crying Out Loud today, I was inspired to write a little something about air travel with children. I’d like to start off with a lovely story involving my BFF, who also...
Rants
Crack is Whack, Especially on an Airplane.
The story I am about to share with you is 100% true. Yes, this actually happened – although you probably won’t believe me. So a few days ago I only had 2 legs to get home and finish my hellish 4-day long Thanksgiving trip. ...
Editorial
Sassy’s Super-Fun & Original Holiday Travel Gift Guide
Sassy’s Super-Fun & Original Travel Holiday Gift Guide That NO ONE ELSE CAN TOUCH! This is no ordinary, practical and boring holiday travel gift guide. I have personally chosen each item specifically for our sassy crew ...
Rants
Faking Orgasms>Faking Disability
Hey fakers! Don’t ask for a wheelchair when you’re perfectly ambulatory just so your lazy ass can board the plane first without walking those exhausting 20 feet. Here’s the thing, first on = last off. So when ...
Editorial
Seven of Sassy’s Top Travel Tips
Today’s air travel is enough to make you find a secluded bathroom stall in the terminal where you can quietly hang yourself with your own belt. In order to prevent devastated family members and PTSD for the custodian discover...
Rants
“I’ll Just Have A Coke”
So what the fuck is up with putting an “I’ll just have” in front of your drink request? Me: “Would you like a beverage, Ma’am?” Passenger: “I’ll just have a Coke” Me: “...
Rants
If It Doesn’t Fit — JUST. FUCKING. STOP.
My inner dialogue every time I watch someone trying to squeeze a large bag into a bin that everyone else on the plane can see will NOT fit: “round hole square peg round hole square peg round hole square peg” ...
Rants
Letter Of Apology To The Flying Public (From Flight Attendants)
This “letter of apology” was originally posted by an anonymous flight attendant on Airiners.net. To whoever you are, thank you. I could not have said it any better!! “To the Flying Public: WeR...
Rants
An Open Letter to Ambien
An Open Letter to Ambien I adore you, my dear friend. You are always there for me when I am in need. I love how just the two of us can have so many adventures and enjoy some fucked up shit together. Remember that ...
HelloGiggles
Hello Giggles; Excuse Me Sir, Did You Order The Meany Pants Special?
If you are a meany pants on my flight, when you order a drink you will more than likely receive what I like to call the “Meany Pants Special”. Click here for the graphic photo evidence…
Rants
Stories From Hell; The West Palm Beach Edition
The following conversation took place in the back galley after landing in West Palm Beach while waiting to deplane. Stuck up bitch-ass lady in second to last row: “Ummm, why don’t you just open the back door so I can leave ...
Rants
Dear Passengers, Here are the Answers to ALL of Your (Dumb-Ass) Inflight Questions!
A recent conversation with a handsome young stew sparked the following blog entry. Regardless of where we are in the world, or what we are doing during the flight — here are your answers: Q: What River is that down...
Rants
How in the Fuck Does this Shit Happen?! (with Adam Carolla & Stephen Tobolowsky)
“Shit” being the keyword By now you are familiar with the fact that I am obsessed with the lavatory and how people use & (typically) abuse it. As I told the lovely (and my ranting hero) Adam Carolla on his podcas...
Rants
How to be the Perfect Passenger on an Airplane
Sit down and shut the fuck up. The end. (you may now comment anonymously below without submitting your email) *And please feel free to click the links below to share our site with your friends*
