Posts Tagged ‘crew members’
Rants
13 Things You Need To Know Before Ordering A Drink On An Airplane
OK, I am going to break it down for you. Don’t be an asshole when you fly. Entering an aircraft is no excuse to lose all common sense yet many of you do so. Ordering a drink is a fairly simple process, please don’t make it ...
Rants
If You Have the Nerve to Use These Noxious Items During a Flight, You’re an Asshole.
OK, but seriously…who would think that it is remotely acceptable to use such items inside of an enclosed metal tube with recirculated air?! Nail Polish. For the love of God, do NOT paint your nails during a flight. Everyo...
Safety
Crewmember Safety Tips From an Ex-Cop (ME!)
If for some reason you have never read the subtitle to my blog, I was a police officer back in the day. So yes, I am very anal about this shit (yes, I said anal). So yeah – here are my security tips for flight crew. Use them ...
Rants
Hi, I’m Jane. You Don’t Know Who the Fuck I Am But Give Me Free Tickets. Now.
Shortly after multiple (and ignored) Facebook friend requests from a complete stranger called Jane, I received the following private messages. I have not altered them in any way other than to ”X” out a few identifiers. Oh, ...
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS; Kid Figures Out Lav
BREAKING NEWS!! 7-year old uses lavatory, flushes the toilet, washes hands AND closes the door behind him. 43-year old man after him does none of the above.
Rants
I LIKE MY FUCKING JOB!!
What is so fucking difficult for you to understand? I’m not a dumb-ass. If I hated my job, guess what? I WOULDN’T FUCKING DO IT!! (shit, that’s a lot of “fucks”) Evidently there are a few of you that are unaware of ho...
Rants
Totally Turbulent Times
So just a heads up for you passengers traveling during severe turbulence, please do us all a favor and don’t be a fucking asshole. On my last trip during the beverage service we were hit with some fairly severe turbulence due...
Rants
How Not to be an Asshole When Traveling with Children
After listening to one of my favorite podcasts For Crying Out Loud today, I was inspired to write a little something about air travel with children. I’d like to start off with a lovely story involving my BFF, who also...
Rants
Crack is Whack, Especially on an Airplane.
The story I am about to share with you is 100% true. Yes, this actually happened – although you probably won’t believe me. So a few days ago I only had 2 legs to get home and finish my hellish 4-day long Thanksgiving trip. ...
Editorial
Drunk Passenger Bound, Gagged & Restrained With Duct Tape. Are YOU Okay With This?? [VIDEO]
Article written by Bobbie Laurie for The Examiner. “A passenger on board an Icelandair flight had to be tied down by the crew and fellow passengers after going on a rampage Thursday, January 3.According to Icelandi...
Editorial
Interactive Post Time: What’s for Lunch? (Food Packing Ideas, Tips, Tricks & Recipes)
Okay fellow sassy stews and pilots, YOU will be the stars of this post! Here’s what’s gonna go down (no, not that kind)… Below we will all share OUR favorite food packing tips, recipes, etc. This is always an ...
Editorial
Sassy’s Super-Fun & Original Holiday Travel Gift Guide
Sassy’s Super-Fun & Original Travel Holiday Gift Guide That NO ONE ELSE CAN TOUCH! This is no ordinary, practical and boring holiday travel gift guide. I have personally chosen each item specifically for our sassy crew ...
Rants
Faking Orgasms>Faking Disability
Hey fakers! Don’t ask for a wheelchair when you’re perfectly ambulatory just so your lazy ass can board the plane first without walking those exhausting 20 feet. Here’s the thing, first on = last off. So when ...
Editorial
So You Think Being A Stewardess Is All About Glamour And Stacks Of Cash?
Okay, so now that I am hopped up on anti-inflammatories, somewhat recovered from the crazy shift at my second job and am semi-ambulatory — I suppose I can finally write this noise. Whoever said “What doesn’t kill you make...
Editorial
Seven of Sassy’s Top Travel Tips
Today’s air travel is enough to make you find a secluded bathroom stall in the terminal where you can quietly hang yourself with your own belt. In order to prevent devastated family members and PTSD for the custodian discover...
Rants
“I’ll Just Have A Coke”
So what the fuck is up with putting an “I’ll just have” in front of your drink request? Me: “Would you like a beverage, Ma’am?” Passenger: “I’ll just have a Coke” Me: “...
Rants
If It Doesn’t Fit — JUST. FUCKING. STOP.
My inner dialogue every time I watch someone trying to squeeze a large bag into a bin that everyone else on the plane can see will NOT fit: “round hole square peg round hole square peg round hole square peg” ...
Rants
Would You Like a Little Vag With Your Beverage?
Imagine my horror as I sat in the last row of a CRJ-200 non-reving home today and found out that vags were part of the in-flight entertainment. As most of you are probably aware, this regional jet is not a particularly large ai...
Rants
How to Pack: What Are Your Tips and Tricks?
I would love to have an interactive post regarding packing for a trip. This goes for both flight crew and passengers! You no longer need to submit an email to post your comments, so ple...
Rants
Letter Of Apology To The Flying Public (From Flight Attendants)
This “letter of apology” was originally posted by an anonymous flight attendant on Airiners.net. To whoever you are, thank you. I could not have said it any better!! “To the Flying Public: WeR...
HelloGiggles
Hello Giggles; Excuse Me Sir, Did You Order The Meany Pants Special?
If you are a meany pants on my flight, when you order a drink you will more than likely receive what I like to call the “Meany Pants Special”. Click here for the graphic photo evidence…
Editorial
Is Your Pilot Fit to Fly?
If being concerned about the mechanical status of an airplane, the credentials of the pilots, bad weather, or running out of coffee at 35,000 feet aren’t enough to freak you out before your next flight, lucky for you I ha...
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS; Do Not Enter
BREAKING NEWS!! Opening a galley curtain that is CLOSED FOR PRIVACY (probably so your stew can quickly eat their only meal of the day) is the equivalent of me barging into your office without knocking. STOP. IT. NOW. ASSHOLE.
Rants
20 Reasons Your Flight Attendant Might Not Be Happy-Go-Lucky
Let me break it down for you… If your flight attendant isn’t chipper and licking your ass throughout the flight, there is probably a very good reason behind it. The expectations of flight attendants are very high, y...
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS; I’m Better Than You
BREAKING NEWS!! Extremely douchey businessman loudly declares that he flies more than the entire crew combined. Said crew then explodes into excessive laughter and advises him to kindly go fuck himself.
Rants
Let’s Play a Game!!
It’s called the “Let me come to your office and plop my fat ass down in the middle of it preventing you from doing your job” game! Here’s how to play: First you wait until office guy quickly sits ...
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