Posts Tagged ‘asshole’
Rants
13 Things You Need To Know Before Ordering A Drink On An Airplane
OK, I am going to break it down for you. Don’t be an asshole when you fly. Entering an aircraft is no excuse to lose all common sense yet many of you do so. Ordering a drink is a fairly simple process, please don’t make it ...
Rants
If You Have the Nerve to Use These Noxious Items During a Flight, You’re an Asshole.
OK, but seriously…who would think that it is remotely acceptable to use such items inside of an enclosed metal tube with recirculated air?! Nail Polish. For the love of God, do NOT paint your nails during a flight. Everyo...
Rants
Hi, I’m Jane. You Don’t Know Who the Fuck I Am But Give Me Free Tickets. Now.
Shortly after multiple (and ignored) Facebook friend requests from a complete stranger called Jane, I received the following private messages. I have not altered them in any way other than to ”X” out a few identifiers. Oh, ...
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS; Kid Figures Out Lav
BREAKING NEWS!! 7-year old uses lavatory, flushes the toilet, washes hands AND closes the door behind him. 43-year old man after him does none of the above.
Rants
I LIKE MY FUCKING JOB!!
What is so fucking difficult for you to understand? I’m not a dumb-ass. If I hated my job, guess what? I WOULDN’T FUCKING DO IT!! (shit, that’s a lot of “fucks”) Evidently there are a few of you that are unaware of ho...
Rants
Totally Turbulent Times
So just a heads up for you passengers traveling during severe turbulence, please do us all a favor and don’t be a fucking asshole. On my last trip during the beverage service we were hit with some fairly severe turbulence due...
Rants
How Not to be an Asshole When Traveling with Children
After listening to one of my favorite podcasts For Crying Out Loud today, I was inspired to write a little something about air travel with children. I’d like to start off with a lovely story involving my BFF, who also...
Rants
Crack is Whack, Especially on an Airplane.
The story I am about to share with you is 100% true. Yes, this actually happened – although you probably won’t believe me. So a few days ago I only had 2 legs to get home and finish my hellish 4-day long Thanksgiving trip. ...
Editorial
Drunk Passenger Bound, Gagged & Restrained With Duct Tape. Are YOU Okay With This?? [VIDEO]
Article written by Bobbie Laurie for The Examiner. “A passenger on board an Icelandair flight had to be tied down by the crew and fellow passengers after going on a rampage Thursday, January 3.According to Icelandi...
Rants
Faking Orgasms>Faking Disability
Hey fakers! Don’t ask for a wheelchair when you’re perfectly ambulatory just so your lazy ass can board the plane first without walking those exhausting 20 feet. Here’s the thing, first on = last off. So when ...
Rants
“I’ll Just Have A Coke”
So what the fuck is up with putting an “I’ll just have” in front of your drink request? Me: “Would you like a beverage, Ma’am?” Passenger: “I’ll just have a Coke” Me: “...
Rants
If It Doesn’t Fit — JUST. FUCKING. STOP.
My inner dialogue every time I watch someone trying to squeeze a large bag into a bin that everyone else on the plane can see will NOT fit: “round hole square peg round hole square peg round hole square peg” ...
Rants
Would You Like a Little Vag With Your Beverage?
Imagine my horror as I sat in the last row of a CRJ-200 non-reving home today and found out that vags were part of the in-flight entertainment. As most of you are probably aware, this regional jet is not a particularly large ai...
Rants
Letter Of Apology To The Flying Public (From Flight Attendants)
This “letter of apology” was originally posted by an anonymous flight attendant on Airiners.net. To whoever you are, thank you. I could not have said it any better!! “To the Flying Public: WeR...
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS; Do Not Enter
BREAKING NEWS!! Opening a galley curtain that is CLOSED FOR PRIVACY (probably so your stew can quickly eat their only meal of the day) is the equivalent of me barging into your office without knocking. STOP. IT. NOW. ASSHOLE.
Rants
20 Reasons Your Flight Attendant Might Not Be Happy-Go-Lucky
Let me break it down for you… If your flight attendant isn’t chipper and licking your ass throughout the flight, there is probably a very good reason behind it. The expectations of flight attendants are very high, y...
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS; I’m Better Than You
BREAKING NEWS!! Extremely douchey businessman loudly declares that he flies more than the entire crew combined. Said crew then explodes into excessive laughter and advises him to kindly go fuck himself.
Rants
Let’s Play a Game!!
It’s called the “Let me come to your office and plop my fat ass down in the middle of it preventing you from doing your job” game! Here’s how to play: First you wait until office guy quickly sits ...
Rants
I LIKE MY FUCKING JOB!!
What is so fucking difficult for you to understand? I’m not a dumb-ass. If I hated my job, guess what? I WOULDN’T FUCKING DO IT!! (shit, that’s a lot of “fucks”) Evidently there are a few of...
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS; Please Hold
BREAKING NEWS!! During the trash service, very important woman holds up index finger motioning for me to stand in the middle of the cabin like an asshole waiting for her to finish the rest of her seltzer water with a splash of ...
Did You Really Just Fucking Ask Me That
From the ‘Did You Really Just Fucking Ask Me That?’ Files
From the ‘Did You Really Just Fucking Ask Me That?’ Files Inflight at approximately 35,000 feet a grown woman rings her flight attendant call button to ask “Excuse me miss, are we moving right now”? *hea...
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS; The Beverage Edition
BREAKING NEWS!! During our beverage service I approach a seat bank, make direct eye contact with a female passenger, say hello and ask her what she would like to drink. Before she could reply her rude-ass male seat mate complet...
Rants
Stories From Hell; The West Palm Beach Edition
The following conversation took place in the back galley after landing in West Palm Beach while waiting to deplane. Stuck up bitch-ass lady in second to last row: “Ummm, why don’t you just open the back door so I can leave ...
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS; I’m Fucking Important
BREAKING NEWS!! Narcissistic woman ignores all announcements, walks her dumbass up front from coach, harshly whips the curtain to the side, walks into the forward lav and shits up the first class bathroom. Stay classy…
BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS; Reading Light Confusion
BREAKING NEWS!! The little button above your head with the outline of a stewardess holding a tray with a drink on it is NOT the reading light.
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