Public Service Announcement: Toilets on Airplanes DO Flush
I guess I should start off by walking you through how to actually identify, and then access the lavatory. The bathroom is the door marked “LAVATORY” (it’s not one of those big doors with the huge handles that you entered the aircraft through). Anyway, there is this weird round apparatus located approximately midway up the outside of the LAVATORY door.
This weird apparatus is called a doorknob. Turn it.
*side note: the ashtray will NOT open the door*
So yeah anyway, once you figure out how to find and then enter the lav (just in case you are unaware)…airplanes DO in fact have toilets that flush. THEY ARE NOT OUTHOUSES!
Please do us all a favor and just flush after you take a shit or piss! There is this button located directly above the toilet paper; and it says…(wait for it…) “FLUSH” on it. Crazy, right??
I would also highly recommend wearing shoes when you go into the lavatory, as this is not a Jerry Springer Charter Flight. That liquid on the floor? Probably not water. It amazes me that people actually walk into the lav without shoes. I’m gonna just assume that they do the same thing at a gas station bathroom as well. Same fucking diff. By the way, to all of you that enter the lavatory barefoot or in socks. Thanks for traipsing your now disease-ridden and urine-soaked stinky-ass dogs throughout the cabin. WE ALL APPRECIATE IT! I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to have a raging case of Hepatitis.
Also, if you then walk out of the lav after not flushing or washing your hands (yes, we can hear that you haven’t done either), thrashing the door open harshly without closing it…(don’t worry I”ll get it for you, I know you probably can’t be bothered to CLOSE A DOOR) inside I am really wishing that I could punch you in your fat, ugly, dumb-ass face.
Have a nice day….and BUH-BYE!