Faking Orgasms>Faking Disability
Hey fakers! Don’t ask for a wheelchair when you’re perfectly ambulatory just so your lazy ass can board the plane first without walking those exhausting 20 feet.
Here’s the thing, first on = last off. So when we land, you will need to wait until EVERY FUCKING PASSENGER has deplaned before you are able to do the same.
And to the majority of you that are somehow healed (CAN I GET AN AMEN?!) mid-flight? From now on I vow to come find you in the terminal where I will break both of your legs to ensure that you are in a Hoveround for the rest of your ‘faker faker belly acher’ life.
You’re welcome.
DON’T FORGET TO SHARE BELOW!!
You can roll’em on, but “Jetway Jesus” will heal them so they can walk off. My greatest pet peeve.
hahahaaa
I never get why you’d wanna board so early anyway just to sit on the stinky plane. Then they stare at us wondering what’s taking so long to go hello you boarded an half hour before time to even close the dang door. Drives me nutso and yes jetway Jesus is a miracle worker!!!
I love miraculous inflight recovery’s.
I LOVE SASSY.
Amen sista!
I need a heart transplant due to a condition I was born with. Because I’m relatively young, most people can’t tell I’m sick. I still occasionally fly. There have been times walking down a concourse when I really, really regretted the decision to walk. So far, I’ve been able to get by without a wheelchair, but that might change. If the time comes, I hope you’re not my flight attendant.
By the way, I’m a former paramedic. I guess it’s good you don’t do that anymore.
You obviously are NOT the typical passenger we deal with, trust me.
And yeah — I will be a nurse soon. Sorry?
It’s not the people who are sick or need a wheelchair. I have no problem helping where needed. It’s the passengers who demand a wheelchair then when we go to deplane they are no where to be found yet reminded you multiple times inflight that they will be needing a wheelchair, or when they have to wait for the wheelchair service to come to the plane they are mad at you for not being able to snap your fingers and make it appear. I told the pilots, they told the tower and the tower was supposed to continue the chain. Everything takes time.
Who knew laziness was a qualified disability? Assholes.
I don’t know what’s worse…the fact that they pull this shit to get on the plane first only to stampede everyone before I turn off the seatbelt sign (go ahead and eat shit while we taxi, you’ve been fuckin warned and deserve to bust your dumb ass head on the bulkhead…called Darwinism) or the fact that we completely support and encourage morbid obesity and laziness in this country with those large fleets of golf carts in the terminal. I’m about ten seconds from hiring a paraplegic to sit there and heckle those 450lbs of chewed bubble gum that not only are too fat and lazy to walk to their gate, but almost definitely didn’t buy the second seat they no doubt need. They should be ashamed of themselves and happy they can walk!
Be careful before you descend your fury in this situation, though. When I was 18, I was on a flight to Ottawa from Toronto (not long, but it was the second leg of a trip that had started in Tokyo, so I’d been flying for about 23 hours at this point) with a shattered tailbone, which I had obviously requested wheelchair assistance for. But mid-flight I have to use the restroom, so I head to the back of the plane. Once I leave the bathroom, one of the flight attendants, in a voice full of bitch, asks, “Aren’t you the girl who needed a wheelchair to get on?” Yes, thank you, ma’am, for assuming that because I’m young and not visibly deformed I must be abusing the wheelchair assistance system. I think she felt bad after I explained and slowly shuffled back to my seat, since she kept checking up on me for the rest of the flight… But seriously, she was way too quick to judge.
I have been in the same situation, as a young person post-back surgery.
Unfortunately this happens DAILY with people that abuse the system & only want a chair to get to their plane quickly without the hassle of their bags, and to board first.
Then “Jetbridge Jesus” saves the day, and they are HEALED when we arrive! It’s miraculous!