Would You Like a Little Vag With Your Beverage?
Imagine my horror as I sat in the last row of a CRJ-200 non-reving home today and found out that vags were part of the in-flight entertainment. As most of you are probably aware, this regional jet is not a particularly large aircraft. We, as passengers, are basically sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, so needless to say there is virtually no personal space available.
Anyway, I board the plane, settle into my seat and do my usual ‘pretend like I am watching the safety demo out of courtesy’ thing. We start taxiing and I look forward at the young man sitting in the row diagonally in front of me because he is (of course) non-compliantly playing on his cell phone.
The horror and disbelief kicks in when I realize that he isn’t pulling an Alec Baldwin Words With Friends, but rather is viewing photographs being texted to him on his iPhone. What are these pics of you ask? VAGINAS. Yes, full-blown, up close and personal vags. I immediately notify the sweet young lady sitting next to me and we both completely lose our shit right there.
I mean what the fuck do I say? “Hey guy, nice vag pic!” “Is that your girlfriend’s vagina?” “Wow, that thing looks pretty healthy” “I bet you toooootally hit that shit last night!”
Instead of conversing with Mr. Pervy McPerverson I opted to use the beautiful opportunity gifted to me by the non-rev Gods and just sit there taking photographs as evidence for you wonderful people.
Luckily for you all, I wasn’t quick enough with my phone to get the full-on vag pics. You’re welcome.
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