Would You Like a Little Vag With Your Beverage?
Imagine my horror as I sat in the last row of a CRJ-200 non-reving home today and found out that vags were part of the in-flight entertainment. As most of you are probably aware, this regional jet is not a particularly large aircraft. We, as passengers, are basically sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, so needless to say there is virtually no personal space available.
Anyway, I board the plane, settle into my seat and do my usual ‘pretend like I am watching the safety demo out of courtesy’ thing. We start taxiing and I look forward at the young man sitting in the row diagonally in front of me because he is (of course) non-compliantly playing on his cell phone.
The horror and disbelief kicks in when I realize that he isn’t pulling an Alec Baldwin Words With Friends, but rather is viewing photographs being texted to him on his iPhone. What are these pics of you ask? VAGINAS. Yes, full-blown, up close and personal vags. I immediately notify the sweet young lady sitting next to me and we both completely lose our shit right there.
I mean what the fuck do I say? “Hey guy, nice vag pic!” “Is that your girlfriend’s vagina?” “Wow, that thing looks pretty healthy” “I bet you toooootally hit that shit last night!”
Instead of conversing with Mr. Pervy McPerverson I opted to use the beautiful opportunity gifted to me by the non-rev Gods and just sit there taking photographs as evidence for you wonderful people.
Luckily for you all, I wasn’t quick enough with my phone to get the full-on vag pics. You’re welcome.
You no longer need to submit an email to post your comments, so feel free to comment anonymously below, and don’t forget to “share”!
Real men don’t have white iPhones.
Has to be a Hollywood film in there, somewhere…
‘Vags On A ‘Plane’ ?
Starring the Kardashians, perhaps?
He’s probably never seen a three dimensional woman naked.
You have got to be fucking kidding me. Who does this?!
Gross-Way to common! Could he hear you laughing?
Holy Jumpin’ Christ Child….
Look what I a missing? What the HELL was I thinking??? Really, I must commend the carrier involved for elevating in-flight entertainment to a new level….. Stay strong darlin’ . Strong of heart, and stomach! Miss ya much!
I had a passenger carry a pillow in his lap that was the same color as his pants. I noticed he was acting suspiciously when I’d pass and soon discovered why. He was unabashedly flipping through a porn rag when he thought I wasn’t looking. The fab part was there were two kids right behind him with an almost unobstructed view of the porn. When he realized I’d caught him he started half ass covering the pages with another sheet of paper. I’m sure he was just reading the articles.
I have no clue what the deal was with the pillow, but if I’d have seen his hand slip under it even once I was going to call the captain and ask him to divert.
I honestly think that the airlines need to enact some new policies to handle this. It’s not against any current rules to openly view porn in a cramped cabin (at least not at my airline). That needs to change.
Not a policy of the airline but likely a 1st degree misdemeanor or 3rd degree felony if a minor can see it
Worked for Amtrak a few years ago. Saw some guy watching porn on his laptop pc in full screen mode. Your not alone my flying friends.